I’m not sure if this is something that only I experience, or if there are others out there who have similar experiences… and neither do I want to offend anybody’s religious sentiments… but one thing that always intrigues me is this little voice keeps singing all the time… 24 x 7, 365 days a year, there’s this non-stop record playing inside of me, singing songs so relevant to my situation at any given point of time.
For background’s sake, I’ve grown up in a family that loves music and singing comes quite naturally… in fact, my mother says that when she was expecting me, she heard an old Kid’s Praise cassette that had a little girl singing on it, and she prayed that she would have a child who could sing just like that. J I remember she even used to wake me up to music every morning, just so I would get up in a good mood!
And in answer to her prayer, right from my earliest days, I’ve sung at church or at camps or meetings and functions… I remember singing a solo at Parent’s Day in my very first year at school, and have always been on the choir at school and college or in an acapella group… and now I even lead worship at work… not that I’m an exceptionally good singer or anything, but it’s just something that’s in my veins and I can’t help it.
Anyways… the first time I remember actually becoming aware of this little singing voice was when I was in my 6th or 7th grade… I was on my way to the school Sport’s Day in the school bus and I was feeling quite sick and low, wondering how I would get through the day in the hot sun… and then I heard this little voice singing “He’s able, He’s able, I know He’s able, I know my Lord is able to carry me through…” For a moment I was shocked, and I wondered how in the world that had popped into my head from seemingly nowhere… I must have thought myself a genius or something…
But over the years, I’ve become quite accustomed to this little voice that peps me up in my lowest of times, celebrates with me through my highs, loves with me through my romances, and sighs with me when I’ve accomplished something big – but never for a moment is that voice silent. It’s always singing, singing, singing… and I wonder how and why?
This morning, for instance, I was in a very contemplative mood because something unexpected came up that seems like a big u-turn in my life. Everything I’ve been focused on for the last 3 years, my career, my goals, my ambitions… I will soon have to give them all up and step into something new yet again. What that will be, I’m still not sure of yet…
I was thinking about this all night and day when I paused for a moment to listen to the record playing in my head. It was singing this: “O my soul, do you not know, have you not heard? It’s been told from the beginning, the Lord your God is on your side, O my soul, don’t be afraid, trust in the Lord, by His righteousness and power, He will strengthen, He will guide… I will soar on wings like eagles, held by the hand of God, I will run and not grow tired, on His name I call, for the Lord is never weary, His ways are beyond my thoughts, I will trust in Him with all my heart.”
Fascinating? Yes, I was awestruck too… and I still am, as I wonder, is this what they mean when they say, “singing in the spirit”???