It’s late Saturday night, and I’m working. That’s right. Working. Kami leaves in a day and we have a lot to work on before that. My mind is a mess and I can barely think straight anymore. I close my Macbook Pro and lay it down on the floor because dinner is about to be laid out on the table in front of me. Yawn! Oh, there’s space up on the side table, why should my laptop be on the floor? So I bend down to pick my laptop up and transfer it to the side table, and then the unthinkable happens. The laptop slips from my hand and hits the wooden tiles about half a foot below. I pause midway in fatigued shock. “Oops! That’s not good!” I exclaim. “Not good at all!” reiterates Kami. I pick it up and open it. It seems fine. No damage. The monitor is fine, all my opened files are still open as I left them. “Thank goodness!” These Macbook Pros are really built well!
A couple of hours later I’m still working on my laptop when it hangs. Force quit. Won’t happen. Force shut down and restart. But then again, time to go to bed and give my laptop some rest too. So I shut down and hit the sack.
The next morning I start my laptop up, wanting to copy some files onto my pen drive to take print outs of before Kami & I head to church. I complete my ablutions and return a good 15 minutes later. The screen is still white, with the apple logo and spinning wheel. Panic hits me. What’s wrong? It’s never done this before. I force shut down and re-start again. Same thing. Now I feel guilty for having been so careless to have dropped it down. I clutch it to my chest, almost willing it to work again, and silently praying, “God please make it work!” Why couldn’t I have just left it on the floor? I knew I was tired. I should never have put it down in the first place! I try all the start-ups I’ve read about on Mac Forums. SMC, Target Disk – ah, at least the firewire symbol shows up when I do that, but I have no firewire or external hard drive to try and copy my files to. Of all the times, I chose this time to leave my external hard drives back home while I was travelling on work! I immediately text message the only two friends I know who use Macs to get some information about authorized Apple Service Centers in Chennai.
My head is spinning, but I don’t want to miss church on account of my laptop. So Kami and I head out and pray that my laptop will be fine when I come back. I have a smile across my face all through but inside I’m thinking, “How could I have been so stupid! I should have known that something was wrong when it hung last night. Now what am I going to do if something is seriously damaged? How can I afford to get it repaired? It wouldn’t be fair for me to expect my company to pay for the repairs on account of my carelessness. God, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to drop it down! I was tired, and it was just a mistake! I know I shouldn’t have been so careless. I should have stopped working when I got tired. I’m really, really sorry! I take responsibility for my actions. I’m ashamed of myself and I know I’m to blame! Please forgive me for being careless, and God, please make my laptop fine by the time we get back. I don’t know how to fix it myself, but I know you can.”
Confident that my faith will be rewarded, Kami and I enjoy church and a good lunch and return to our room at the hotel after an adventurous ride in an auto rickshaw. The first thing I do is rush to my laptop, lay hands on it and pray silently before starting it up. Bong! Start up sound. White screen, apple logo, spinning wheel… … … … 15 minutes later it tries starting itself up again and fails. Crest fallen, I force shut down. God didn’t choose to do a miracle, so it’s up to me to do the next best thing, which is to be practical. So I try calling the service center. It’s Sunday and they’re shut, so I leave a message. Thankfully, the address is close to our hotel, so the next day I won’t have too much trouble finding the place after Kami leaves for Mumbai. Remorse overtakes me, but I’m too proud to let it show. This is an accident gone far too wrong and out of my control. I hate not being in control of my situation. I’m a perfectionist and just can’t do things wrong! There’s got to be something I can do to make amends!
Wait a minute… The first time I had a problem with my laptop, an important relationship bit the dust. The second time, my Dad went to be with the Lord. This time, what or who had died? God, you taught be something through each of my previous situations as bad as they were. What is it you want me to learn this time?