Posts Tagged ‘hope’

Not My Will

Hardly a day after I was excited about God having been faithful to me and all of that, the sky itself seemed to fall on my head! There I was telling everyone happily that things were back on track, and as if Satan himself were to sneer at me, there went all my hopes and dreams again, right before my very eyes – and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.It seemed unbelievable. Was this really happening? Or was it just a bad dream? It hurt deep down inside, more than I can remember anything having hurt me before. My soul ached for comfort, for someone to tell me that everything was going to be alright. I wanted so much to turn back time and undo all that was happening. I could barely comprehend my own feelings and numbness seemed the only way out.

Night after night I tossed and turned in bed, tears of pain streaming down my face. Why was this all happening to me? Why me??? Why now???

Myriad questions still confront me. What next? Will things take a turn for the better again? Or will I have to reconcile myself to the sad state of affairs? Is there any hope left? Will I have to trudge on through it all, not knowing where the road I’m taking will lead me?

I think it’s best to just take one step at a time. I may not know where I’m headed, but I know Who leads me on. I may not know what the future has in store for me, but I know He’s with me right now. And I’m exactly where He wants me to be today. Tomorrow if He tells me to pack up and leave, I’m willing. Or if He says, “Stay!” I’ll do that too.

I guess I’ve just got to be like a little puppet in His hands (although that may sound silly and spineless). But that’s what He would want me to do – to submit myself so completely to Him, so that He can do His will through me – to have absolutely nothing of my will, but let Him have His way with me. To say “Lord I give you my heart, I give you my soul, Lord have Your way with me.”

Boy, that’s so tough! Nevertheless… not my will, but Yours be done!

“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you. I’ve called your name. You’re mine. When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead end-”Isaiah 43:1,2


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Everyday you trudge through
Wondering what your life is coming to
Ain’t got nobody to lean on
Seems like hope’s forever gone…

Who will answer when I cry out?
Who’ll pay heed to my despair?

He will answer, He’ll be there
To comfort you with loving care.
He listens to your every prayer;
He’ll answer you somehow, somewhere.

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